The need to have control of our lives, and the need to be ‘master of our own destiny’, is a core basic human need. As children grow and learn, they work from dependence to greater and greater independence as the years progress. It is an essential part of the survival of any species that its young be able to fly the nest and be individuals in their own right. Perhaps this is the reason that a loss of control or autonomy in our lives has been found to lead to symptoms of panic, anxiety and depression.

As I write this latest in the series of blogs on our basic psychological needs, Valentines Day is nearly upon us. Naturally attitudes vary about this day with it’s increasing commercial attention. The purpose of the day has become increasingly blurred, with people giving cards and presents to loved ones at various levels. There are even websites promoting Valentines for pets!

At it’s simplest though, perhaps it is an opportunity to focus on the basic need for intimacy that we discussed in the previous blog of this series. Remember that intimacy is something that can be shared at different levels with different people. It’s not necessarily about love and romance.

Closely linked to intimacy is another basic human need – the need to regularly give and receive attention.

In this latest blog in my series on meeting your psychological needs I am focusing on our need for challenge. 

Not everybody wants to climb Everest, swim the channel or run an ultra-marathon. Some people do these things without thinking, but they are not essential to everybody. When it comes to being creative, which is related to challenge, we don’t all want to become the new Picasso. While it may be true that we all have a novel in us, we might be perfectly happy to keep it there!

However on some level, there is a basic human need to be challenged. If we live a life entirely based on habit, a safe environment, comfort and casual social interaction, over time, it is very likely that our boundaries of what is safe will shift.

An article by Robert Sanders, Life Coach, Timeline Therapist and NLP Practitioner
at Vinings Natural Health Centre

We all need to feel safe and secure. This seems like one of the most straightforward of the basic psychological needs. Your unconscious (or subconscious) mind is naturally sensitive to any threats to your safety and security. This need for security is the origin of our most deep-based fears. This is where you learn to notice dangers and respond instinctively to them.

Common sense tells us that we need to avoid things like fire, physical violence, falling from a great height, being attacked by a wild animal, being poisoned or being severely cold or exposed. These go without saying, and your unconscious mind knows how to protect you from these, so you may feel natural fear when faced with a lion, or something being on fire. You will instinctively avoid standing close to the edge on a high building if there is no barrier. You will want to get somewhere warm or wrap your clothes tighter around you if it gets cold.